Okay, we have news...

13 measly weeks! Sheesh

15 weeks

18 weeks
(and way too many pounds later...)

I guess it's not like I have nothing new to post, since I haven't even mentioned this new little life that has been growing inside of me for the past 18 weeks. Frankly, it's what I wanted, but I have been very grumpy about it and I'm just now getting over that. It's hard to feel so completely awful and be quickly getting very pudgy-- and even though you know there is a reason for it, it sometimes doesn't seem like there is most of the time.

But now I suddenly have little energy again, and am not constantly nauseated and dizzy, and I am feeling little movements inside and it finally seems fun and worth it and amazing. It may take the rest of my life to recover the damage done to the house and get back on top of things, but I am also feeling so happy that the weather is so beautiful and not so hot and muggy this week! I know I am going to (and already have) have many moments of wondering what an insane idea this was, and wondering how in the world I can handle another baby when I barely can handle the ones we have been blessed with, but I know we can do this and that it will be a huge blessing for us. I haven't doubted that it's what we are supposed to do. When I panic about the fact that my belly popped out like 6 weeks before it ever did with my last pregnancy, people say "well, it IS your 5th!" But then I think well, if I did already with my 4th, why not with the 5th? The truth is, I was in better shape before Micah, plus I ate really healthy for most of that pregnancy. I feel like I blew it in the first trimester this time around, because truly I have not been eating healthy, but I decided to not give up and am slowly moving back to the healthier way. That's probably half of the reason I have felt so incredibly awful actually.

Anyway, that's our big new. FIVE. Now that sounds like a big family to me. I never thought I would be old enough for that. One reason we haven't told a lot of people very early, is I think subconsciously I want to avoid all the exclamations and claims of others just knowing we are having a girl. That thought has barely crossed our minds as we picture our 5th little boy and think how crazy that is. We are fairly sure, but we will know for more certain in about 5 or 6 days. Not that I am counting. I just want to see this little guy that has been wreaking such havoc in me.

Passey Food Hogs

Oh my goodness, look what Micah has learned. In our house everyone eats as fast as they can because they are panicking that they won't get as much as their brothers around them. So this is how Micah decided to eat yesterday morning. Eating with his right hand and guarding the loot with the left. I DID correct him after I took the picture. That's awful! They obviously aren't underfed, I mean really...

Noah's photography

Noah at least asks me before he takes pictures. I actually think I shoud send the older kids around with the camera once in awhile, because it's fun to see the things they think are notable and worthy of pictures.

Micah's photography

This is a very small sample of what happens when Micah find the camera. There were at least 5 very similar pictures of every one of these, and about 15 of just red blur.

First Day of School

I know the first day of school is supposed to be a little nervewracking, and some kids handle it better than others. But Noah has been complaining about the short summer and not wanting to go back to school since the day school let out in June. It seems way too early to decide to not like school and it makes me so sad. I agree with him that the summer sped right by us, but come on, this is fun and exciting, and he won't have to tag along on every boring shopping trip and errand ("but mom, I like doing those things now, I don't even care") and I don't have to beg him to be nice and play at the gym while I exercise ("no Mom, I decided I like it there, too), and have quiet time every afternoon when Micah is napping and I decide maybe I also require a nap. This is so much funner, especially since I have not made the last month of their summer nearly as fun and exciting as I had hoped and planned. Anyway, Noah had a few breakdowns this morning while getting ready for school, telling me why he would rather stay home with his mom and brothers. At one point he even flipped out about Math...."Mom, I saw the homework Connor was doing, and it was really hard. All kind of division and things I just don't know how to do!!! How am I supposed to do that?" How can he not understand that not one person around him will know how to do those things before the teacher shows them, and then it will be fun? He is just not used to being challenged and not already knowing the things being taught in school, and that has not done him any favors, because starting this year he really is going to learn new things. I am so glad of this, and think it will only help him to like school better, but at the same time he does flip a lid if he ever comes across a challenge. Anyway, he moped on the curb while waiting for the bus and I forgot to even get pictures of him and Kaden before school! I made sure to get them after though, and it's a good thing, because Noah's face was quite a bit better for pictures by then. ("But Mom, the it's never the first day or the first few days that school is bad, it's later, like somewhere in the middle that I don't like it...") Sigh.

Here comes the bus... My 3rd and 1rst grader...as they come out of the bus.

Kaden running to give my a big hug. I hope he does this for a lot longer. Noah stopped last year, but Kaden knocks me right over. His first comment was "That was the best school day EVER!!!" I was really worried about Noah rubbing off on him this morning, but he'll be all right.

First Grade!

Does this look like a boy who doesn't like school? I forgot to turn the picture though! I'm hoping for the best!

My Ammon

Okay so his real birthday is not until Thursday, but we celebrated this past weekend because Travis was leaving and we didn't want him to miss this kids' birthday again. Ammon was more than happy to celebrate on a different day once he realized it meant it would be sooner. He decided last year he wanted a mailbox cake for his next birthday, and he has never wavered from that and has counted down for a year now. I hope it was worth his anticipation. And I made him an ice cream cake which was very nice for holding up a big mailbox.

Noah made real letters with poems and notes, and made little packages to put some little presents in for him. He loved that.

Ammon barely makes the cut off to start kindergarten here in Virginia. In Idaho he wouldn't have made it and I wouldn't have had to go through the torture of trying to decide what would be best for him. In the end I decided to enroll him this year in preschool instead and start kindergarten next year. As I watched some of his little friends get onto the bus this morning, I panicked again and questioned if I had done the right thing. But I have to think more long term and I think it's good. And he's very excited about preschool which will start next Monday. I think I would have had a heart attack all day if I had had to put him on that bus with his brothers. And all day every day just seems way too much to throw him into. This did not factor in my decision, but I can't imagine poor Micah's dismay if I had taken all of his brothers from him at once. As it was he asked me several times today about Noah and Kaden.

Anyway, we love Ammon. He is still my little boy who needs a lot of hugs and cuddles. In fact he would have me carry him around still if I would give into that.

My best friend

Oh my. The times I have the hardest time keeping record of our lives is when there is so much to say and keep record of, and I fall so behind and don't know where to start, and therefore do nothing. Very sad indeed.

I mean how could I not make some sort of note or entry at least somewhere close to our 10 year anniversary? It's been 3 weeks now, and that is a big deal. But when time is short, the task is overwhelming to try and express my feeling and happiness, and awe of how quickly 10 years can fly by when you are with the most amazing husband ever. We were clearly remembering when we first got married and tried to speculate where we would be and what we would be doing 10 years from then. And we blinked, and here we are.

I know it sounds corny, but I remember back when we were engaged and every conversation with other people was about marriage and full of advice. It was sometimes discouraging because from what most people told me, we had to enjoy that honeymoon stage while it lasted, which would be for about 2 years, and then it was all downhill from there. I was such a romantic and wanted to really be in love and be one of those old couples I saw in the street holding hands and gazing into each others eyes still.

But it's true that you see couples who are married for 40 years even and then they get divorced and those stories devastate me. But they are good because they really reinforce the fact that your marriage is alive and living and needs constant nourishment. And with that, you can look back to those first 2 years and realize that you didn't even know at the time what it was to love someone. That love can really grow in so many ways.

And that's all I'm going to say about that, because now I'm embarrassed. I am just so grateful for the man I married and for the years we have had together. Here's to many more decades, with each better than the last?....