Oh the ups and downs

Highlights of my week:

This little Micah and his dimpled smile. He was copying his brothers by studiously reading the cereal box while he ate, but then he caught me taking a picture and can't extinguish the shy smile.



Potty training: It's such a relief when it ends up going so much better than you had anticipated. (I am knocking on wood this very minute and repeating the knowledge that it could go downhill from here at any moment). But this little boy has been a complete champion with potty training. I think it just makes such a difference to not be in a hurry. We have talked about it and sat on the potty once in awhile for a few months, but let him take the lead and decide he wanted underwear (of course, with a little planning for it to be on a week we were all stuck at home sick regardless). But he is even mostly staying dry at night time, and pretty much always during the day and naps. So I just realized today....out of the past 9 years this will be the only month and a half of having no kids in diapers--actually it will be the only time in about 12 years by the time this next little one is out of diapers. And it will be the very first time that when we have a baby, we don't have 2 in diapers for at least a little while...weird.

Another highlight: hitting 35 week mark and graduating to Dr appointments every week. Not that I like to go to the doctor--I will keep sliding that back all I can because the appointments sometimes seem kind of pointless. But it still feels like a nice milestone.Lows: Hitting that 35 week mark also seems to mean for me "How in the world can I do this for another 5 weeks! I have suddenly hit the point where everything hurts, I have zero energy, feel irritable, and most of all--am getting next to no sleep. I wonder how pregnancy might be different if I didn't have to live on 3 hours or less of sleep a night, and that's collecting all of the 30 minutes intervals to get such a high number. I have mostly been able to just accept it as the way things are for me right now, but after a few really bad nights, it really wears on you and incapacitates you and makes you irritable and ineffective. And on top of it I can't get rid of this cough and sore throat--I'm afraid my body is too busy with other things and it may not get better until after this babe is born.

I need to think up a great way to make time go fast from here, because it always happens that this last month is longer than all other months combined. Maybe because there is not a minute that you can actually forget there is a huge baby getting bigger and bigger, and your mind starts to obsess over getting ready and over labor and delivery and it's all you can think about.

34 weeks.

Spur of the moment

I have the most wonderful husband ever. This year for my birthday he decided to take leave for a couple of days so we could go somewhere fun. Only we all got sick and have been in our deathbeds for the week and half before my birthday, so he didn't actually make any plans to go anywhere. So Thursday was the first day of leave, and we were not completely better yet, but were at least not in the fever and runny nose contagious stage anymore, and while I had Micah at the Dr to follow up on his pneumonia, Trav decided to just pack bags for everyone and he got a hotel in Raleigh, North Carolina for a couple of nights. When I got home we finished packing really quick and picked up Noah and Kaden from school, and we were off.

With our Air and Space Museum membership we can get into all kinds of science centers across the U.S. for free, so he had looked up what they had in North Carolina. We went to one on the way down. Then Friday morning we went to the temple in Raleigh and Trav and I took turns watching kids while the other of us did a temple session. Then we ate lunch and went to 2 more discovery centers.

Then Saturday morning we went to a HUGE natural science center right there in Raleigh. It's too bad that this was the first day that I actually remembered to bring the camera. But despite the lack of picture documentation, the whole trip was very fun. We were a bit more tired than usual, especially Micah--but that did mean that everyone but Noah slept the entire drive home yesterday and it was Heavenly.

Oh and Micah was in underwear the whole time! I guess we just aren't going back to diapers. He is doing SO well, although we did have 2 accidents the second day--I think it was because he was so tired and distracted, and the 2nd one was because Trav took him to the bathroom 10 minutes earlier and he wasn't able to go because they were cleaning it. Anyway, it was funny thinking how with Noah and Kaden I would have been so stressed out taking them on a trip right when they had started wearing underwear and been overwhelmed worrying about it. But it wasn't a question and we just did it and were prepared and he did great. It's funny thinking how much more relaxed you get about certain things with your 4th child.

Hibernation Day

So for Ammon's preschool last week they had a "hibernation day" where they got to wear PJs to school and planned to eat some bear snacks and watch a little clip on bears and hibernation. Ammon has been asking several times a time for 2 weeks, how many days are left until his hibernation day. So they week before the big day, the flu bug hit our household and pretty much all of the kids got sick, except for Ammon. I KNEW that meant that instead he would hold out and get sick right before his hibernation day and low and behold, the day before, Ammon got the fever. He was so crushed when he realized it meant he wouldn't be able to go.
I was quick to tell him it was okay because we were going to have our own hibernation day. I knew that it wouldn't be the same, but I hoped it might at least help. But it actually worked much better than I thought it would. I think he felt yucky enough that he was grateful to be home, and we set up a little cave for him to eat his special bear snack (goldfish, pretzel sticks, grapes for berries, and strawberries). Then I showed him a hibernation clip from U-tube, and he was totally into it all. Later he even reminded me that we forgot the most important part, to lay down and pretend we were hibernating. He mentioned that right before rest time anyway, so it worked out nicely for me as well =).

Oh my spoiled...

What if this baby is born and he turns out to be a boy? We will be in so much trouble. I haven't meant to go overboard. And really it's not me! I have been very spoiled my all the wonderful friends who keep making us girl things that they know I wouldn't have a clue about. So Tonya from our ward made us this memory board, and Marian made all of the cute little bows on it--bows!Then another friend sewed the amazing baby quilt and the curtains...she is amazingly talented!

And it all started because my friend Emily gave me the cutest girly crib set. Before that, I really wasn't going to do anything different in the baby room than the boy stuff that was already there. We didn't put the bumper in the crib yet, because Micah still naps in there and I just knew if we changed it he would get some flu bug and throw up on it. Ha. And I was right, only without the throwing up with lots of nasty germs that I don't want in there for sure!

Holy cute! Okay, I will go all girl with things like this. I picked out the material and then Nikki just figured out what to do from there. I LOVE them!

I am so overwhelmed with gratitude for all of the excitement and showering of truly meaningful and fun things of dear friends! It seems early to be setting everything up, but it's so fun to go in this room and just sit there and look. And we need time for reality to set in and maybe seeing all of the pink everyday will help us all prepare a little. It still seems really out of place in our house!

What's this?....

Does this little boy look proud to be wearing the huge underwear on his little bottom? Micah has been wearing underwear all week. We started the week a little under the weather and had to stay home anyway, so we though we'd give it a go. He has been doing so well. But maybe the right time is not when we are all sick. It was working out for the most part, but he went from sick to better to suddenly much worse today, and we took him to the urgent care and he has pneumonia and an ear infection. And for some reason he really doesn't care about underwear today. So we will have to pick it up again later.

None of us has really been sick for a long time, and suddenly Micah and Kaden and I got slammed with this bug. I haven't been this sick possibly ever, but for sure not since we first got married and I got mono and strep and hemophyllis and then the antibiotic gave me the mono rash. That was a miserable time of life, but this week--pretty much right up there. Please make it go away...and it's so not fun to have a yucky cough to rip up your already sore throat, and your poor stretched and nonexistant ab muscles! Not so much fun.

So lucky!

My best friend Marian was able to come visit us for a few days at the beginning of January. We hadn't even seen each other in over 3 years, and I always think it's so amazing how with good friend, it can be years but feel like yesterday. This is pretty much the coolest person ever, and one day we are going to live next door to each other. I am such the better person because of her. It was so fun because all of our kids have been staggered perfectly so that we are never really expecting at the same time. But now we are within 2 weeks of each other. So these pics can serve at my 30 weeks...

Insomnia

One of my biggest challenges when I am pregnant, is this horrible insomnia. I think my wrinkles increase ten fold just because of the lack of sleepies for my poor eyes for 9 months. I wish I could somehow resolve it, but it does have it's perks. Like all of the blog entries I just didn. And I just finished doing my 30 nursing credits online to renew my Nursing license. And I did them all in less than a months time, and that was while I was also trying to do lots of primary stuff. It's the best journal writing and quiet project time that I ever get. Maybe in the next couple of months I can finish making our last 2 years worth of pictures into photo albums even!

Really, though, I have been negative about the whole pregnancy thing lately and I have decided to turn a new leaf and see all the good. I truly am amazed and oh so grateful at the miracle taking place inside of me. There is nothing like feeling this little babe squirm around and try to poke through my skin. I am going to try to savor every moment from here on out instead of counting down (I am 30 weeks though! Still need to celebrate a milestone like that...) and feeling miserable. The lack of sleep really helps me be grateful for half decent nights, and separation of limbs that make it so I can't walk and work out the way I want are very humbling and make me slow down and maybe enjoy other things that I wouldn't have. Maybe. And the varicose veins that all of the sudden show up after 4 pregnancies without them, well, also very humbling, and just think how grateful I can be when and if they go away. Huge weight gains....well, again humbling but also while I was at first tempted to just give up and stop exercising and eat horribly, I somehow was able to decide to eat healthy instead. For almost a month now I have been doing so much better with what I eat, and it makes me feel so much better.

Anyway, enough rambling about such things. It's 4 a.m. and I have been up for almost 3 hours! Not so good for my morning mood. I should have been making kids lunches instead so at least that would already be done!

Happy Birthday to my Kaden

Today is a day to celebrate Kaden. Okay so it was actually on Monday...There are so many things I love about this boy. Travis's mom reminded me awhile ago what a difficult 2 year old Kaden once was. It's funny how I had forgotten that completely and she had to give me specific examples to spur my memory. He has come such a long way from the obstinate stubborn little 2 year old who wouldn't come home from the park with Grandma and she had to actually leave him there (just across the street) and get Travis so he could drag him home.

He has always loved food. It's very nice because that makes him my least picky eater and he tries really hard to pretty he likes things that he doesn't.

He has such a kind heart. He has a little dimpled shy smile he gets that is my favorite ever.

He is an artist. We are constantly amazed by the things he draws and the detail and imagination that goes into them.

He plays so well with his brothers, and is a sensitive soul.

He is so easily distracted, and when I get frustrated and how to refocus him so strongly, I sometimes think he just reminds me of me that way. I can't keep one task in my head for more than 30 seconds sometimes. I get frustrated with myself for that, too, though.

He writes me nice notes and makes little gifts for me all of the time. His favorite thing to tell me in notes lately is "I love you Mom. You mak the best dinrs"

He loves to ride his bike, and it's so sad I can't let him do it unless I am outside with him (it's that distractable thing, he just can't keep in his mind not to zip across or down the middle of the road and forgets!)

I can't believe Kaden is 7 already!! Once again I am starting to panic about how quickly the time has passed by. We love him!

And yes, this is our 3rd volcano cake and realistically there just wouldn't be snow around at the same time. For months Kaden has been telling me he wanted a hexagon stopsign cake (???) for this birthday, and then he suddenly changed his mind. So we had to come up with a different setting than the other 2 volcanos.

White Christmas, the day AFTER

It started snowing Christmas night a little--then on Sunday it came down pretty steady and heavy all day long and we ended up getting about 12 inches. This was perfect, because it was a ton of fun snow to play in and we froze for a few days and then the temperature rose to the 40s (and 60s once) and melted our huge snowman within a couple of days.

Noah pulling Micah

Our street and buried cars. Our roads were pretty awful unti they melted and you didn't see many cars driving around for a couple of days. Virginia just isn't equipped to deal with snow like this, but they did do all right with the major roads.

Micah and Dad going to the top of the hill Monday morning.

Noah

Kaden and Noah

Pulling Micah back up after sledding down with him.

The cutest ever Passey boys. I would like to show all the pictures of me hiking up this hill and sledding down, but the truth is, it hurt bad enough just to walk to the hill with everyone. My poor body is falling apart and is not the iron woman pregnant person body that I always imagined and hope I would be. Sigh. It was fun watching from the bottom though.

Lucky boys.

Christmas

Before WAKING the boys up to come downstairs. It's so nice they didn't get up early. It was about 7:30 when I finally went up to check on them.

Eating the traditional Christmas Crunch breakfast. This is a tradition Trav grew up with and I am still trying to figure out how to get away from it. Once a year, though, right?

28-29 weeks. I keep thinking I should take pictures regardless of how little I feel like it in case I someday regret not doing it.

Anyway, we had such a nice and quiet and together Christmas. The month of December speeds by way too fast for me, faster every year. I wish I could declutter the month and be able to savor the Season more. I think we did still savor it and were able to feel the spirit and love of the Savior, but it was just SO busy, and at the same time trying to organize the new year for Primary was a little crazy. Now it is January and suddenly I am having days with nothing really planned and being able to declutter and do what I want to do a little. It's so nice!

Christmas present from Grandma and Grandpa Timothy. We left this thing up for over a week before taking it down. Now we are not sure where to put it, but it sure it fun.

Before it is lost forever!

I have been feeling a little panicky feeling every now and then the past couple of weeks. Travis was able to take leave between Christmas and New Years, so we have been spoiled all being home and together. He and the kids both go back to the grindstone tomorrow and I miss them already! It's been so much fun. It seems like more and more during our days, the kids do the darndest and cutest and funniest things. I love how they will do something and Trav and I will look at each other and smile. I don't know why, but it's one of my favorite things ever. It just makes me feel happy. However, I have been realizing all of the sudden how much they all do and say that I NEVER write down. I did better when Noah was a baby and toddler and it's gone steadily downhill.

This little Micah of ours is such a character. He has his fair share of ornery and obstinate moments, which are steadily increasing--but his cuteness and good moments help us to forget all of that and think he is the cutest thing ever. I keep telling myself that since we are having a girl, Micah can always be my baby boy and will never lose that spot. Anyway, I am now going to record the things we love about this boy.

His prayers lately...depending on him mood he will sometimes to prayers all by himself. When he does he buries his face in the carpet and I have to strain to hear what he says, but I hear words and phrases like "and brudders (brothers)" "a mommy" "a daddy" "a baby" "an candy" "and chocate (chocolate)" "and a eat a gum" (which he has been forbidden because of repeated incidents of swallowing and sneaking...)--Oh and he still includes Tara in his prayers and asks where she is once in awhile, since she was just out here a couple of months ago.

His favorite phrase is "I do it, I do it, I do it" and it has been for a very long time. Yet if it's firmly something I just can't let him do, I say no and he says okay. Usually.

He sneaks food, especially if he can figure out where the gum is or where his brothers may be stashing candy. None of my other kids did this. Aargh.

He has a magical gift of making other people ogle over him. It's not really even like he is extra friendly. Since people have exclaimed over his eyes since the day he was born, he stares at everyone and if they don't mention his eyes, he starts to bat his eyelashes.

He has the cutest little look that he gets that I call his shy look.

Every morning he comes down and climbs into bed to snuggle with us. If Travis is not there, he always asks about him and then names all of his brothers to see where they are. When Daddy comes home he runs as fast as he can to give him a hug and knock him down.

He loves to help set and clear the table. And insists on carrying his own laundry basket upstairs...

He loves loves loves his daddy and they wrestly and giggle and play all the time.
Anytime I go in the kitchen "what making mommy?"

He knows about the baby in mommy's tummy, but I don't think he really does. He always wants to lift my shirt a little and points to the belly button and says "baby" and kisses it. It's very cute, but I wonder how much of a surprise he is in for.

He goes between saying he is a big boy and not a baby, and the next moment lays in my arms and says he is a baby and wants to to sing "rock a bye baby"

Moments of silence in the house are a definite reason to make everyone scatter and search for Micah and stop whatever he is doing.

He tells on himself when he steals gum and candy. Yesterday he was upstairs and Trav asked what he was doing and he said "paying pay dough" and Trav said "you have playdough?--bring it down here, and he said "no take it daddy" and Trav said "yes I am going to take it, it's not allowed up there" and he came down and gave it to him, all the while saying "no take it daddy"

He's basically just the funnest kid ever. His brothers love him and love taking care of him and he knows he is the center of attention wherever he goes. We are grateful for our Micah.